I’m definitely not here to preach—I love my iPhone as much as the next millennial—but I’ve seen how our addiction to technology can destroy a relationship, namely mine. Here’s why my ex-boyfriend’s addiction to his phone ruined us:
1. WHEN WE STARTED DATING, HE WAS RARELY ON HIS PHONE. Oh, the wooing stage, where both parties in the relationship are on their best behavior. Everyone’s dirty little secrets are hidden and their bad habits suppressed. And just like any relationship in its beginning phases, I really started to fall for this new guy. Ironically, one of the things I loved about him at the start was the undivided attention we gave each other. When we were talking, it seemed like it was just the two of us in the room, and that made our relationship feel incredibly intimate from the get-go.
2. AS THE FREQUENCY INCREASED, I WAS TOO NERVOUS TO CONFRONT HIM. Once we’d defined our relationship, the honeymoon phase ended quickly. There weren’t a lot of huge discrepancies from how we acted when we first met–the sex was good and it was frequent, we still went out on dates, and we continued having our own personal lives. Everything was great, except for one thing: his phone had become the third person in our relationship. As soon as he got comfortable with me, the phone came out more than I’d seen it during the “wooing” phase.
3. OUR COMMUNICATION BEGAN TO DWINDLE. I don’t mean just our in-depth life talks necessarily (although they did suffer), I mean all of our communication, down to the most basic, “Hi honey, how was your day?” Conversations seemed dumbed down and hollow, as if he was just going through the motions of small talk so he could “politely” plop down on the couch and start fiddling on his phone. This was so disappointing to me because one of my favorite parts of being with someone is being able to share with them the good and bad parts of your day—like an at-home therapist you can eat Chinese food with.relationships,relationships,relationships
4. IT BECAME A DEFENSE MECHANISM DURING ROCKY TIMES. When we would fight (whether it was about his chronic phone usage or not), he would take out his iPhone and check his Snapchats. If I started getting heated about something, he was automatically deleting emails or reading texts. His phone became this wall that I couldn’t reach him through, no matter how much I yelled. relationships,relationships,relationships