4. I STARTED TO UNDERSTAND THAT WALKING AWAY DOESN’T MEAN I FAILED.One of the first long-term relationships I had was with a guy who confided in me that he felt everyone gave up on him because he could be so stubborn and difficult. He was a thoughtful, loving guy, but the more time we spent together, the more I noticed he was actually very lazy when it came to putting in an effort to sustain our relationship. I wanted him to know that I loved him despite that setback within himself and I was going to stick it out. Eventually, I couldn’t handle it and had to walk away too. Now I know that sometimes breaking up is the healthiest decision I can make.
5. I GO WITH MY GUT INSTINCT. I always had a lingering feeling that nothing much would come with these relationships, at least on the level I wanted—I’m not a total idiot. I always thought that with enough time, I could somehow make them grow into something with a sustainable future and I ignored the fact that I knew things would end badly. I learned that the little feeling inside shouldn’t be ignored—it’s usually there for a reason. I listen to it now.
6. I TAKE SOME TIME FOR MYSELF.Whenever I went through a breakup with one of these guys, I never really felt a terrible sadness or loss. I tended to feel that BEFORE we ended because I was feeling so lost towards the end. Then, as soon as the relationship ended, I felt ready to move on to whatever came next and I didn’t take any time to truly get over the person I’d been putting all of my energy into. Now I always make sure to take some time alone to get my head together before jumping into anything new, no matter how ready I feel on the outside or how great the new guy seems. I feel like it’s an important step I always seemed to skip over and it’s possible that contributed to me finding these types of guys because I was needier than I thought.relationships,relationships,relationships