After one too many draining relationships which ultimately failed, one thing became crystal clear: I was doing all the work with guys and not only did that always backfire, it left me miserable and empty when it inevitably ended. Here’s how I broke the cycle of one-sided relationships and set my sights—and my standards—a whole lot higher.
1. I STOPPED DATING UNAVAILABLE GUYS.I don’t know if it’s just the type of guy I was attracted to or if subconsciously I liked a challenge, but when I thought back on my previous boyfriends, I noticed that every one of them had some reservation about moving things forward. I always brushed it off because they were upfront with me about it. I applauded their honesty but never took it as the red flag I should have. Thankfully, I know better now. The next person I’m with I’m with will need to be just as ready for the relationship as I am.
2. I STOPPED BELIEVING THAT ALL RELATIONSHIPS COME WITH DRAMA. For too long, I believed it was standard for a relationship to be a little rough all the time. I convinced myself that all the things that bothered me were inconsequential and not a big deal when in reality, they all built up to serious resentment. These days, I actually voice my concerns if I feel like I’m being taken for granted. I know I deserve to be treated well and I can’t believe how much I let that slide.
3. I LEARNED THAT OVERCOMPENSATING DOESN’T MAKE THINGS BETTER. I thought I could lead by example and show the guys I was dating what I needed by offering it to them first. Most of them just got used to me being excessively loving, available, and compromising. They never had to actually make any decisions themselves and I would take care of it all. Never again. I still treat anyone I’m dating the way I want to be treated, but if I’m not getting the same in return, I’m out.relationships,relationships,relationships