Though breakups sometimes feel like they’re a bit out of the blue, oftentimes there are some signs that can give you a hint that your partner might not actually think your relationship will last long-term. And it’s worth knowing what some of those clues that they may be sending you might be. Some of them might be super sneaky, while others really aren’t so subtle. There are some things your partner only says if they don’t think your relationship will last that can tell you that it’s time to have a more serious and direct conversation about what sort of future — if any — the two of you may have.
“Someone who cares about you and sees the relationship as long term will be more open to having discussions,” Erin Parisi, LMHC, CAP, a licensed mental health counselor, tells Romper by email. “Someone who’s just interested in dating until something better comes along may not bother to have the conversation, or might make jokes and laugh it off, or tell you what you want to hear before quickly changing the subject.”
If these sorts of remarks are frequent parts of your conversations with your partner, it could mean that they’re not as invested as you might think.
1″Let’s Focus On Right Now.”
If your partner wants to focus on what’s going on currently in your relationship instead of talking about what your life together might look like, that’s a sign that they might think that things aren’t going to last. “If you are committed to each other right now, but are having trouble talking about the future and where your relationship is headed, couple’s counseling can be a safe place to talk about these relationship issues and help you both process where you are now and where you would like to be in the future as a couple,” Heidi McBain, MA, LMFT, LPC, RPT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper by email.relationships,relationships,relationships
2″Who Knows Where We’ll Be?”
Again, with a comment like this one, your partner is basically telling you that they’re unsure about things. “This might mean avoiding talking about or making jokes about getting married or having kids, they might make excuses to keep from booking a vacation with you, or committing to anything more than a couple of months down the road,” Parisi says. Particularly if they use this line in response to you wanting to do something pretty low-risk, like buying concert or sporting event tickets, you might want to reflect more on why they can’t seem to commit.